July 19, 2011 Emotional State

I have this strong urge to write this very moment. I just need to vent out all the negative feelings that has been bothering me. First of all, I’m really having a hard time adjusting to our new place here in Manila. I’m experiencing a new environment and my old routines are diminishing. I could learn to adjust in this new environment but adjusting to new people, old friends, same busy schedule combined---kills.

Nothing seems normal. It’s sad though that old traditions die out easily. It’s upsetting when new ones alter supposedly strong bonds. I hate it when history tries to repeat itself...it’s like igniting a long repressed pain way back in the past.

Secondly, I don’t have all the time in this world. I couldn’t do much of the things I really enjoyed doing...taking photos, reading fiction, drawing, writing, and simply having fun.

I don’t like people who waste my time. I don’t like people who also slacken my time. I mean, they could have fun and be free...but they shouldn’t dare put my time on risk. I don’t like waiting; especially to those who’s not worth the wait.

I just wanna say this: “You’re not my obligation.” There, I said it. To Whom It May Concern, you can’t control me...and especially, you can’t have my time.

Thirdly, I’m in the brink of eradicating stress. It’s just so too much right now---stress, I mean. The Overlapping tests, thick handouts to read, reports, group reports, recitations, everything 3^RD YEAR COLLEGE hell.

I’m trying my best to battle stress. It’s highly affecting my sense of reason, impulsive decisions, and ill-temperedness. Sometimes, it drives my closest friends away. I don’t like it when it happens.

I miss sleeping normally, eating normally, and being imperfectly normal. To end this tirade purgation, I’ll pray and prepare for a good night sleep.