Hold On, Don't Go (a revelation)

A POEM:

Treasure what you have...
Time is too slow for those who wait;
Too swift for those who fear;
Too long for those who grief;
Too short for those who rejoice;
But for those who love...
Time is Eternity.

For all you out there with someone special in your heart, cherish that person , cherish every moment that you spend together, for in life, anything can happen anytime. You may painfully regret , only to realize that it is too late.

Don't give away the person you love most. You'll regret it and just waste the time given for you to be together. Of course, it depends on the situation. You should hold on to something if you know there is something to hold on to. If you know in your heart that the person still loves you, then you still have hope. Sometimes, it is better to let go if you know that the person doesn't love you anymore. You can't force them to. Otherwise, you are due to a long life of pain and suffering (OA naman nito, pero yung ibang tao ganun talaga!). Letting go doesn't mean giving up. It just means you're giving the person their space. Loving someone doesn't require being with the person. You can love person from afar. If you really love the person, you'll do what is best--for him/her and for yourself.

MOVE ON, LET GO? too sad.

LET GO, MOVE ON? too selfish.

HOLD ON, DON'T GO? so real.

A SECRET? keep it.

A REVELATION? share it.

before a secret, Now a revelation... :D

-S.Reyes

Kidnapped--a crap story

Oo, talaga namang mahirap gumawa ng blog post pag-summer vacation. Una, wala kang inspirasyon...hindi mo siya/sila nakikita; Pangalawa, natutukso ka maglaro ng Pet Society o kaya naman, Restaurant City; Pangatlo, hindi ka makapag-isip ng matino. May naalala lang akong tao, kaya ko sinulat to. Kagabi, tinawag akoni Heidi na "crap", yun man kasi ang tawa at bati ko sakanya noong nag-aaral pa ako sa CdSP. Si Heidi, alias "crap" man anf bida sa Natatanging post na to.

Last Feastday na namin sa CdSP nang nangyari itong kagimbal-gimbal na krimen. Maayos anf panahon at hindi mo aakalain na may mangyayaring abnormal sa buhay ko noong araw na yon. Ang mga nasangkot sa pangyayari:

Heidi-kidnapper
Mang Carlos- naghatid ng Lengua
Tata Kards- Saksi
Jigs at Kiko- kasabwat
Sam- BIKTIMA
Jhanna- nadamay ang pangalan

Bumaba ako para kuhanin ang Lengua sa aming family driver na si Mang carlos. Dadalin ko na sana sa room namin ang pagkain nang biglang hinatak ako ni Heidi papalabas ng iskwelahan. Kumumpas ako kay Mang carlos, na ibig sabihin ay umuwi na sya , bago ako tuluyang makapasok sa tricycle. Nakita kong tumango si Mang CArlos na parang naintindihan nya ang mga pinag-kukumpas ko (lubos an mahina ang kanyang pandinig kaya minarapat ko ng gamitin ay sign language).

Wala akong kaalam-alam kung bakit ako pinasakay. Puro "basta" ang lumalabas na sagot nila Heidi at ang kanyang mga body guards (Jigs at Kiko). Aba! papunta pala kami sa bahay nila Heidi! Naintindihan ko na rin ang rason nung tatlo, may kailangan palang pictures ang BSP kay Heidi. Nag-mano ako sa Nanay ni Heidi at kinaladkad ako ni Heidi paakyat sa kanyang kwarto. Masyado ang abusi ni Heidi, huhuhu.

Pagkapasok namin, binati agad ako gn mga pinsan ni heidi...nagulat ako at kilala nila ako. Isang napalakas na "Ate Sam" ang pinukol nila sakin, hahaha! Oh ayan, nakaupo na rinkami sa harap ng pc ni Heidi. Nag-loko nung una, kaya nag-restart ulit si Heidi. Nakita ko ang mga bonggang-bongga pix ni Heidi! nakakatuwa talaga! Lahat ay nakitako sa kakahanap nya dun sa Boy Scout's pics. Binigyan pa ako ng Rc Cola ng mabait na Nanay ni Heidi. Nakakhiya nga, kasi naubos ko agad. Nakakaloka talaga, sila Peyt, Aejae, jannet, Kae, Jhakanax, Kathleen, nakita ko man ang mga pics nila. Pati kamo si Snow White! at ang barkadahan ng bayan! Wahahaha. Lagot si Heidi!

Wala ang pix ng BSP kay Heidi kaya kailangan pang pumunta nila Jigs kila Jhanna. Haha! Nasulit naman ang pag-kidnap sakin nag-enjoy naman ako at lalung -lalo na sa Rc Cola...uhaw na uhaw kasi ako! (>_<) Bumalik na ulit kami sa Cdsp, bigung-bigo ang mga kasama ko , grabeh. Tapos, hinatak na naman ako ni Heidi papunta sa room nila para ihatid sya. Abusadong babae! And ginawa ko, tinakbuhan ko nang malapit na sa room nila! :p

Wala akong masabi sa nangyari kundi, "crap."

* request nga pala ni Heidi itong post na to. Sobrang tagal na ! ngayon ko lang na-feel gawin.

*Ninakaw ko nga pala sa fs mo heidi, yung picture! hahaha. pano naman kasi ayokong humingi ng pix sayo, hindi na magiging surprise! wahaha.

-S.Reyes

Not wounded, but broken (OUCH)

We all do things in life that we regret. We also do things in life that make us proud of the people that we are. Still, there are things in life that we hope to someday be able to do. All these things make up who we are and how we've come to be ourselves. Occasionally we'd like to change the past because of regrets, though this would completely change who we are and who we love...or who we must love.

Once in every girl's lifetime, she finds one perfect person with whom she falls hopelessly in love and lives happily ever after. Oh yes! I forgot, no more fairy tales. And that proves, that concept is a mere fallacy. Yes, people do have common interests, and, therefore, develop relationships. Many of these relationships are more like "Real" rather than Romeo and Juliet type. Couples do break up, and there are many reasons why.

All teenage girls go through life-changing romantic relationships (ayown, nakaka-relate ka?) but it is very rare that one of these relationships spans an entire lifetime. People have fun together, but people often break up. As one can see, there are many reasons why break ups occur. Resons like finding one's bf/gf cheating or being forbidden to be together. These break ups and reasons for them are not meant to scare girls away from relationships.

"Broken hearts are never healed."
"They haunt us for a lifetime even if we find someone else." --daddy. :)

Our past teaches us lessons that makes us more aware and more human. Why then do we feel so hurt knowing it can only get better? Breaking up with someone you care about is one of the toughest decisions any of us will ever have to go through. Dealing with the pain and heart break is never easy. We just have to live the days as they are set out and not live in the past. Or simply, move on.

Sometimes you feel that you seem to love someone but other times you seem to loathe. sometimes you say you can't be without your loved one or maybe just without anyone. Try to forgive and try not to think about before...But if you love someone so much, it'll just hurt to ponder now. It is normal to love a person so much. May it be your first love, best friend, or family. And it is also normal to be scared to lose that person. (i understand, based on my experience).

Don't forget all the sweet times that you had. And of course, don't forget why the person made you so sad. Don't regret the time you shared. Yes, it would make you sad..."remembering the good old days."

I know what you feel,
You think he moved on?
found another girl?
then hate you?
doesn't want to see you?
and you feel invisible to him?
because you don't talk anymore?
and now you're the one with a heart in two?
oh yes, you do.

You think about him everyday?can't seem to get him out of your head?
you say you're over him, then tell yourself that you're lying?
you messed up.
At least be friends and stop avoiding each others text messages.

It has been awhile now, and nothing has changed no matter what you do. You tried to get him out of your life, but miss him. He's once a dream that came true; okay (3o) no more fairy tales. An illusion that turned to reality, but suddenly, things turned differently...(earlier than what you expected to come) The way they used to be.

You know there would come a time you have no choice but to let go. Sure, I know that he's the reason of your sleepless nights. Can't help yourself from crying? cry. Can't help telling it to your friends? They'll listen. I'm sure they will, I'm one one them. ;)

Don't let all the pain and sadness bound inside your heart. Are all the memories still preserved in your mind? You miss him so much? you can't hide the fact that you're still in love with him? aww.

Don't tell your friends that your life wouldn't be the same again...or else, you deserve a slap. (>_<)He's not yet gone. Still waiting and hoping, I suppose. Don't let yourself be trapped in loneliness forever. SMILE.

Like what I said when we talked , I am willing to find a perfect guy for you; so your life would bloom again.

TAGALOG TRANSLATION:

"Hahanap kita ng gwapong papa!"

Time passed. Everyday he's on your mind. You thinkhe's love is with someone else now. The pain of losing him is still fresh. Thinking if you'll be ever be together again... listening to Taylor swift's and Pink's songs...you mope as each day passes...You lose a little more hope...but still,

YOU LOVE HIM AS ALWAYS :)

-S.Reyes

In Memoriam of M.S.R. --M.D.

Birthdays do not end with death, but last as long as love; A maelstrom of memories. And so we celebrate your day by visiting your grave. A place that you have left long since, but it is all that we have of you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, dear Mother!
Oh, happy,happy day!

I cannot think you're not alive anymore. I think of you just as I did before. I write you this because I know you're there; that even after death there must be more. So long as I have will and memory left.

Mom lived her life for love of friends and family. Neither asking for nor wanting a return. But Mom, without much choice, then chose her fate.

I'm sorry mom, for the things I put you through.

I'm sorry Mom, for not doing the things you would wanted me to do.

I'm sorry mom, for disobeying you.

You thought about me, the last minutes of your life.

I don't want you to feel so much pain. There's no one to balme. I tried to tell dad to stop grieving, 'coz I saw his pain as well.

I'm sorry mom, for hurting you.

I'm sorry mom, and i will always, always love you!






* I wrote this in advance for Mom's birthday. We'll be at Baguio in May 29 to celebrate Mom's birthday with the whoel faculty and staff in our hospital. That trip is to honor the hospital's founder and the late Medical Directress (My Mother).

*M.S.R.- Magdalena Santiago Reyes, M.D.

*please pray for the repose of her soul...thank you.

-S.Reyes

The Graduation--Batch '09

Have you been happy and sad at the same time? It is really possible to feel these two feelings because it is something that happened to more than a month ago, when I graduated from high school.

Before a far-away dream...

As time goes on, things get better...Our time together enjoyed, never thought that it would end. The day has come our lives have changed. New places to work; it is time to part our ways. We'll see each other sometime soon. I shall treasure all the time and memories that we shared.

Alma maters nourish more than minds. Maybe we'll forget much that we learned from the school.

Graduation is a time for feeling very proud , for remembering achievements and saying them out loud. Graduation day is the climax of a dream. This is a joyful event after many years we had to wait. Graduation is a deserving, hard-earned goal.

I dreamed.

Everybody has dreams and goals. For some people , they might never come true. But I believve if you work hard enough on them, they will eventually will come true someday. I have lots of dreams and goals. Somedays I don't work hard enough on them to try and make them come true. But I have decided to find time everyday and work hard to make them come.

I dream out my fears, hoping that reality is near.
I dream about aiming higher to grasp my desires.
I dream of ways to inspire myself.
I dream about the impossible and how to enable it without the obvious obstacles.

Dreams come true..OH! yes they do.

Well, it was finally here--the moment we'd all been waiting for. I didn't know about you, but I was awfully excited. It was almost unbearable, but for some reason there was a part of you and me that didn't want to let go. We were extremely jubilant beause we were finally moving on, but we couldn't help ourselves from reminiscing about how much we'll miss every thing we had at CdSP now that it was gone. And amybe you were having some regrets too. Perhaps you could have tried a little harder or been a little friendlier , the high school would have these thoughts but we must not dwell on them. We must learn from our mistakes and apply what we've learned (cliche/ haha. lagi naman ganito weh). There were an infinite amount of opportunities in life, and our lives had just begun. We had some great times at CdSp but let's not let them be the best times of our lives.

Yet one of the greatest legacies this class left behind (ayown, third!!!!!!) was that of tolerance and diversity (nosebleed) ; Class of 2009, I realize now that every moment I spent at CdSP was because I always wantd to be with you.

Graduation day is a day to mark a tremendous accomplishment. You could not have come to this day without a lot of hard work, potfolios, researches, and term papers (awww, dani gravs!). There may have been days when you felt that you could not continue, and yet you did. The moment when you are called up to the stage to receive your diploma , in your red cap and gown, is a moment to savor. You could not lose what has now been given to you. Whether it is a high school, college, or doctoral diploma (I wish) , that achievement will be yours forever.

I hate goodbyes. It amkes me realize that every beginning will always have an ending.

I am a Philomenian.

We are Philomenians.

I love you Seniors '09!

(i know you loved me back)


Now, a reality.

*ngayon ko lang natapos tong post na to...grabeh...ang tagal ko na tong imumpisahan. haha

-S.Reyes

I'm Sorry,

Friends sometimes have quarrels, misunderstandings, little fights, and more...

Under any circumstances, we wouldn't stop being friends.

Sorry,

Last Summer--It's a year now.

My mother passed away on May seventh. I loved her deeply; now she's simply gone. all ,y life, I'd known that I was loved because of her. Her death is a year ago, but feels like yesterday and a lifetime ago all at once. Vivid memories of her still come naturally each day. Yes, I do remember. Sometimes, I wish I could forget certain times and certain things. However, those times and things are parts of my life, and I can't just shut them out, anymore than I can stop breathing and decide never to breathe again. So I remember. The good things, of course , are thing I really want to remember. The bad things are the ones that I wish I could forget. But I know that those are actually the ones that made me strong. So I remember.

what would I do in times that I miss you?

where would I go in times when I long to see you again?

How must I spend the nights without you?

How do I bear each morning that you're not there?

shall I ever smile again?

Will I ever laught again?

Will I ever face the world again knowing that I'm not alone?

why must i cry these tears when you're not here to wipe them all away?

why must i suffer the empty days without you?

why must I dream without you by my side?

I will never be the same again; I will never be the same mom, without you.

I felt depressed (X), sad (X), lonely (X)...Yes, HOPELESS.

i grieved and cried.
i groped and stumbled in the dark.
I wept.
I desired with all my heart.
i let go of all of me that you took away with you.
i kept all of you that is in me, and will always remain in me wherever i may go.
i wait and pray and hope.
i will lookf roward to each brand new day, thankful for all that I've had and believing that life will go on.

You have always looked after me and taught me right from wrong, and when I'm down or worried. You're not just Mom but a friend of mine. A friend I can't replace. I would trade all of my tomorrows for just one yesterday, i'd plan out everything i'd do and know just whaat to say. If i could take back time and pause yesterday, i wouldn't have let it end that way. I prayed and cried for you to live, but now I'm in front of the casket with a speech to give.

i worked hard for this post so listen closely to hear what I say:

you were a good Mom, you were always there for me. I know this line is over used ; not more than a cliche, and may sound stupid now, to use it for you. And now, your watching over me. When they lifted your csket in the grave, i held back my tears and tried to be brave. If i could take back time and pause yesterday, i wouldn't have let it end that way. I would trade all of my tomorrows for just one yesterday, I'd plan out everything I'd do and know just what to say...not just a simple "i love you." I don't care how redundant I am.

I thanks you for allowing me to see these times; because if it wasn't for you dear mother, I ould never write down these lines.

-S.Reyes

Janina Mercado

Your smile is so beautiful! Every time I think of your smile, makes me smile. Even when I'm having a really bad day, seeing you smile makes me want to smile too and it makes me forget all about the bad things that had happened. Jcha, you must be the most caring classmate/friend on earth! You seem to have an unlimited amount of patience and love for others. Every time I make a mistake, you are right there to support me. I have had such a great time with you, even doing the most mundane activity is fun. I hope that we'll see each other everyday! haha. Sa pasukan! nakow. I want to spend as much time with you as possible. I miss you so much. There's a lot more I miss about you...not just the moments and kalokoham we'd spent...the laughs we shared or talks we had. I'm not sure how much I miss you; but all I can say is, "mas masarap tumawa pag pareho kayong gaga!" oooops! mali pala. Let me repeat:


"Mas Masarap tumawa lalo pag andiyan ka!"


I miss you budding! hahaha

-S.Reyes

Mikee Gonzales

Words cannot express how much you friendship means to me. You have always found the time to cheer me up whether it was through e-mail, telephone, or chat line. You always seem to know what to say and I really appreciate that. I know you are so sincere with your thoughts that you write to me, especially the letter I received from you on my 16th birthday. And I know with the time we will see each other and I can't wait for that day. Sa Pasukan!!! haha Thank you for your friendshipand for being there when I needed you the most. No matter what happens in our lives, I know that you made my life so much better and you have taught me and has changed me since we've met. I am writing you this blog to show my appreciation for all the things that you have been to me and you have shown me. You have accepted me for who I am and what I can become. I want to thank you for everything. Thank you for everything you have taught me in life (bilang lang yun, iha!). I know that if for whatever reason , I won't regret one second that I spent with you. You are constantly on my mind , I can't stop thinking about you. The first thoughts when I wake up, and the last thoughts before I go to sleep are of you. Okei, OA naman nun...panu kasi hindi ka nagpaparamdam kaya exaggerated. hahaha, I miss you so much, it has been way too long since I've seen you.

*I courageously exposed this post because I knew Ikee wouldn't spend a few of her time to read this and visit my blog. ouch.

*She'll never find out about this post unless someone will tell her.
bwahahahaha.

*Sorry ikee for the picture. International na blog ko kaya exposed ka nyan panigurado! ala akong ibang picture mo weh.

*READERS: look at the picture from the left. (Eve Roxanne, Ikee ).

-S.Reyes

A Letter, from Sam

May 6, 2008

I released and let her go...I knew she has so many things to see and do. I realized that I should not tie myself with tears, but be happy for the many years. I promised that I'll not shed wild tears and hug sorrow through the years. She is the song that will never end; the love of family and friend. The world does not automatically come to stop. Unlike in plays and books, curtains don't fall, and chapters don't close. Life means all that it ever meant.

Even she's gone, her memory will remain alive--not for awhile but FOREVER. :c

*I supposed to send this letter to my classmates the next day (May 7, 2008), I already knew Mom was going to die the moment I wrote this letter. It was almost 12 0' clock midnight .

*I failed to send this letter at school...I got busy with my own feelings, I wasn't sure if I could ever smile again.

*I let my classmates read my letter when they visited Mom's wake. I was shocked and I wasn't expecting an ASAP visit from them.

Thank you, I love you, I miss you.

Yes, YOU.

-S.Reyes