Immature

They called me IMMATURE, I called them STUPID.

This is for the people who once I know...now, I knew.

In our lives, we all have been “labeled” by all sorts of shitty adjectives that we thought that were TRUE of us...but NOT REALLY. We just went too foolish to think what other people comment about us, and usually superimposed who we really are. And yes, we worry too much about these senseless criticisms; leaving us with liquefied identity or rather, a dissolved sense of self.

I guess, I was “labeled”. I tried to erase these adverse trademarks:

Grade 1: shy

Grade 2: quiet

Grade 3: passive

Grade 4: irresponsible/ PWEDE na rin ang KSP

Grade 5: immature

Grade 6: still, labeled as immature

1^st year: nobody

2^nd year: quite someone

3^rd year: rebel (not to a great extent, but yes / Another YES, I’m defensive)

4^th year: bully (lol)

Now, I love being ME and I don’t give a damn on what other people might think.

Back in 5^th grade, I had this teacher... I couldn’t call her mean, so I classified her under “less subtle”. She asked me to stay for awhile after classes end in the afternoon. She talked to me when everyone in class was already gone. She mentioned some of my consistent negligence regarding my schoolwork. I appreciated her concern, but I thought she should’ve talked to my parents about that. I mean, what do you expect from a 5^th grader to change his/her lazy routine easily because you said it so???

She called me “immature”, in a very serious tone. I just looked away...confused.

Was she expecting me to respond? should I or shouldn’t I? What should I respond?

She started saying other ill adjectives that she thought best described me. I just looked away...trying to hold myself together...I kept calm, held my tears, and waited for her to shut up. As far as I could remember, all I said was: “Paano po?”

She called me immature because I was irresponsible; TRUE that! But weren’t most of us in the classroom? She called me immature because she thought I was too busy reading books and watching cartoons, being proud of it. I mean, I was just enjoying things that were I guess, appropriate for my age; while most of my classmates were busy finding their true love in 5^th grade, watching teleserye wishing to have their own someday, breaking their hearts for someone they didn’t really know...what’s more immature than that??? And stupid too.

I could’ve believed in this teacher...all the words she said to me sound convincing...played a perfect harmony in describing who I was—but not someone who I really wanted to be. Good thing, I didn’t listen to her! >:) What could I possibly learn from a person much more narrow-minded than I? I wish the same time she let her hair grow, she let her mind too. I pity her for having constricted wisdom when I was in 5^th grade. I hope she aged with wisdom, through the years.

٭٭٭٭٭٭٭٭٭٭٭٭٭٭٭٭٭

In 6^th grade, we had our yearbook description shiz. We were asked to write adjectives for all of our classmates which best describe them. Most of the comments in my paper were “childish”, “immature”, “makulit”, and all related adjectives from the said three. I wasn’t surprise about the adjectives they wrote. I was more surprised on how my yearbook description turned out far from the adjectives that what were written in my paper.

I remembered those people who wrote “childish” and “immature”. Now, they deserve those words more than I do. They are pretty much the same like in 6^th grade (excluding the face and body physique) =))

I couldn’t blame them! I also used adjectival-enigma...I veneered my words =))

Here are some examples of the adjectives I wrote on my classmates’ papers and their underlying meaning:

Intelligent – simply because you’re included in the top ten of the class/ you have eyeglasses

Mabait/ Good – I don’t know you. Hindi kasi tayo close. hahahaha

Maganda/ pretty- because you’re tall or white =))

Mayaman- mas madami baon mo sakin

Masaya/Happy – because I have nothing better to say  =))

Maharot- pawis ka kasi lagi

Matakaw- kasi mataba ka/ nakikikain ka sa baon ko

masipag- kapal kasi ng kalyo mo sa kamay =))

trustworthy- madami ka kasing alam na tsismis =))

funny- kasi pangit ka WAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I would like to thank Chris Brown and Lil wayne for a wonderful post-ender.

For all the people in the past who labeled me:

“LOOK AT ME NOW!”