I miss you Tata Kardo :(

I haven't written a post recently. I really need a deep emotion in order to write, or something like that. This past few days were of neutrality. I could barely feel the happiness nor the anxiety. I've been too occupied by my studies and school works and haven't reserved time for my "self". I wasn't supposed to go home today (Saturday, 2/13/10) because I still have classes this day. I woke up, and then suddenly my weekend plan changed. I decided to go home instead of staying in Manila for the weekend. Indeed, a very impulsive decision; but I'm used to that. In one wake, everthing you plan could really change. Since I don't know where to start or end my day, I asked Janina if we could drop by at our High school for a visit...or simply to waste time and escape from reality. The structure is still the same, renovations...the people you know are still there and some are new. Everytime I go there, feels like going back to the past; the place you've been back then, the people you know become the people you knew.

I was looking for Tata Kardo...the gate keeper/guard in our former school. Janina said he already migrated a month ago. Actually, I was looking forward on meeting him whenever I visit the school; The man who could never forget me even how far I am. I felt awfully sad and I already knew that my day would end gloomy. I tried to ignore and enjoy the time I was there in the school. But still, pangs of sadness executed me in the way home. I remembered that I used to greet Tata Kardo everyday because he always greet me ( even I was late or not). I miss the times I would treat him ice cream so I could help him ease the burden of his work. I miss the way he smiles at me everytime I went off the car; I miss him going to our car to assist me with the umbrella whenever it rains; I miss the way he ask money for Christmas so he could feed his family. I miss him sitting there on his chair, waiting for every student to be fetch at dismissal time; the stories he shared, both happy and sad. I miss the way he tells the story about how much he misses his family in abroad, The effort of talking to me when I'm sad or pissed; The way he accompany me when I'm in charge with the Student Council attendance...And most of all, the way we stood by me when mother died. He has been one of my mother's fans and the one who stood and supported my mother until death. Now, he is simply gone...we could never see each other. He's away, I could never fulfill my promise that I would help him cure his illness if I'm already a doctor. He is one of the many people who belived that I could really be like my siblings---a good doctor someday.



I admire him so much for the love for his family greater than how he loves himself. I admire the way he fights and hides his sickness to make other people strong and make other people smile and not to worry about him. I admire him for staying strong despite the gradual blindness he is enduring--along with the gradual fall of his health. I admire the way he does his work perfectly with little effort, the way he opens the gate and protects every student. I miss the way he forbids me to commute home for my own safety, the way he escorted me whenever I needed to cross the road, the way he cares for me truly even I am a stubborn kid; I miss the way he gives his time to me whenever I wait too long for my dad to fetch me at school, the way he appreciates every effort, every gift, and every achievement I have.

The last time I saw him was a day before 2010. I never thought that was the last time I could every see Tata Kardo. He opened the gate for me (like always) when I visited Ms. Santos in CdSP; and that was the last of him here in the Philippines. I knew he was going to leave, but I never knew that we doesn't like to inform me about when was his departure. That makes me feel really sad. Unable to say goodbye, force a smile, for Tata Kardo. I hope he could see me if I become a doctor. I hope I could see him sometime soon.

He is one of the closest persons I have in CdSP. He watched me grow since pre-school; One of those who protected me. "Thank you" is not enough for Tata Kardo. He deserves more than that. I wish to see him again.

"tata Kardz, miss na kita! sorry kung matagal po akong hindi nakadalaw. Hahanapin ko po kayo...ingat po. :("

-sam